Friday, November 30, 2007

A sad day

The start of a new era. An Ole Miss Rebel.. who'd have seen that coming??


Before I blog, let me take this moment to say, HOUSTON NUTT WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME?? I am just at a loss. You just have to know how big of a fan I am of him in itself to understand my mourning.. I am now a Razorbell. That's a Razorback and a Rebel.. Who knew I'd ever feel less love for my #1 team. I still love them, just sad over the loss of my #2 man!!!

Can you believe it's almost the 1st of December?? This date holds more meaning to me this month than any other month. Yes the rent is due, but it means that there is only 24 days left until Christmas. This year the hustle and bustle seems more noticeable. Axton is old enough to understand what Santa means. He has a list of what Ho Ho is bringing him, a bike and a gun. Ike has a huge list that seems to be growing daily! The crowds at the stores seem bigger and the Christmas music at the stores seems louder. I am excited what this new year will bring, but a little saddened by the fact that our two boys are turning 8 and 3. Ike's birthday is 2 weeks before Christmas and then Axton's falls right after. Where did our babies go? Axton's hands are changing. Is that the strangest thing you have heard today? I watch his hands everyday and they are loosing the baby look and turning into big boy hands. The grow up to need you less, but love you more. At least that is my prayer!

I feel so blessed in my life. I have a family that in my own words "rocks". I have friends that I wouldn't trade for anything. I want for nothing more than continued happiness. I know that each year will come with new challenges, but with a great support system there is nothing we can't tackle!

Thank you God for a wonderful year. We have come through some rough times, that we only made it through with you. I thank you for your undying love and your strength. I sing the song ever morning, God is in control. That is my motto now. I thank you for always being in control of what seems like madness to me. I pray that this new year will bring us new beginnings and renewed faith! And God one more thing, send Houston back!

Until tomorrow...

Saturday, November 17, 2007

It's that time.

To say that life is a learning experience is an understatement. I find that every day I learn something new. These days I just realize that as bad as I think I have it sometimes , someone else has it far worse. Shouldn't I have known that already?? Guess it's hard to remember that when you are standing in the middle of your own storm. I am so thankful for the blessings in my life even though at first look they don't seem like blessings at all. Is that awful to admit? I can't go into much detail, but I got to pay it forward this week. It is such an awesome blessing to be able to help someone else. I can't tell you how many times others have shown up at my door, just as I am praying for God to answer my need. It is an awesome thing to see God work the way he does.

We will be traveling for Thanksgiving. It's a long 9 hours, but I try and get excited about time with just the 4 of us. The kids don't sleep in the car, so we just talk or watch movies. I don't see Tim a lot these days with him working, so it's a great time for us to "catch up". Our boys are getting so big. Axton is potty trained 90%, Ike is buying gifts for his girlfriend and breaking up with her, but he got the bracelet back..LOL He's his father's child! I just wish time would slow down for me to play catch up. I miss moments in the day because I am worrying about something else or not paying attention to the important things. I am so grateful for the small moments I do witness. When Axton tells me about his "preinds" or Ike telling me about his new "love". Those are moments I cherish.

Thank you Father for the love of the men in my life. Thank you for a family that never leaves me side. I am blessed beyond all measure. I count my worth by the others I have around me. Thank you for the love of a Heavenly Father, that never stops loving me no matter the mistake. In this time of Holiday, bless those Lord who can not help themselves. Help me to reach out to others who are less fortunate than we are. Amen...

Until then...

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

It's Tuesday

What a week so far and it's only the 2nd day.. Guess I better hang in there! Tim's birthday was yesterday and he actually did better than I expected. Of course he was gone until 7:45 last night, so he didn't have a lot of time to think about it. 34 isn't as bad as he might have thought. I baked a pie..hehe Even my typing that was funny. I really did though! Of course I am the only one who ate it!

Today we had an ambulance at school. The kids loved it and my Dad and his medic's were a hit. My favorite question they asked was, what do you do if you see the lights flashing? Apparently the wrong answer is, Speepd up and follow them... I tried though right? Of course Axton was so proud that is Papa came to his school. His new thing is when you ask who he is, he says "Greg Thompson".. I love it! He thinks Papa put the moon in the sky and raises the sun every morning. He is so funny sometimes. He is doing better with his therapy. His therapist says he is one of the smartest children she works with. That some how does not suprise me, I'm his mom..LOL He had a speech evaluation today and they think he needs some help in that area. They think his cognetive devolpment is over devolped, but his speech is just not able to catch up with him. I am proud that my little man is sp smart and getting the help he needs. I have always thought of him as a smarty pants..LOL

A great pastor I know, said that in all things give thanks. So, this week I am living that. In all we have been facing this week, I am thanful for all the things in my life. Big and small. I have a wonderful home, we have never gone without, I have a family that there is no other like them.. I know that life may not always be what I want it to be, but God is always taking care of us. Never leaving us to suffer alone.

Thank you God for all the blessings in my life. Thank you for loving us so much that you never leave us and always provide for our needs. Help me to be gratfeful and to teach my children that their life is a great gift. Help me to be the mom that you have molded me to be. Amen..

Until then...

Saturday, November 10, 2007


The boys are wild tonight and life is crazy. Their unstoppable laughter makes all the worries of the world go away. It's almost time for Ike to go home again and that is one of the most heart wrenching things a parent can face.. leaving your kid behind. Divorce is so very difficult, but having a child involved is even worse. I can't tell you the emptiness that this house feels when he is gone. The void, the silence. Axton adores "Bubby'' and ask for him no less than 3 times a day. He is now beginning to feel the loss that Ike leaves behind. Ike is a wonderful kid that every house needs 2 of. He even folded the laundry for me! I almost fainted that someone helped without being asked, of course he asked for money afterwards..LOL It was the thought, right? He makes me look at life different. He just has such an understanding for life and what he wants out of it. I pray that God always watch over him and help Tim and I to be Godly influences in his life. I can not control what the other set of parents do or say, but with the short time he is here, I can be everything I need to be. I just dread Sunday's.. It's just the finale and he knows that time is short. He is quiet on those days.. This month though he will be here every weekend for 4 weeks! Axton won't know what to do!! It's hard to have 2 kids, but only 1 with you all the time. I know it must be so hard for Ike to have to get used to being back with us after being gone. Sunday drives are spent with laughter, talking about what is important to him, and sometimes just silence.

God, help us to be watchful parents. To show our love and to be unbiased. Help us to live our lives knowing that 2 little boys are watching our every move. I pray that even in our times of hardship and strife that you guide us to make the best decisions as parents. I pray for the other parenting half of Ike. God help us to be on the same page and to be civil and respectful. Thank you God for sending us what I think is your best work yet! They are gifts and I thank you for them. Amen

Wednesday, November 7, 2007

Being blessed

Out of the fog becomes something so wonderful. I watched my baby today breeze through nap time without the screaming and yelling that normally follows him. It wasn't all it can be yet, but one day at a time, right? He is transforming into such a little man. With his funny thoughts and his intensity about life. He is an example of God's greatness. When I watch him some days, I feel God right next to me. I am so undeserving, yet eternally grateful for him.

I spend my days so consumed with craziness. The Christmas wish list of our boys, the bills that need to make the cut this month, the beeping of the smoke detector that just won't quit and then in all of it, when did I remember that in all things big and small, they aren't that bad. Someone has it far worse than I ever will. Someone tonight is cold, someone tonight is hungry, and I complain over a dinner that is not the best one in my menu planning. I know we should think about others and their needs more. I give to the food bank when ordering my pampered chef and give my extra change at Dollar General when checking out, but do those few dollars really matter. I feel so greedy and ungrateful. I never say out loud how truly blessed I am. I have a 10 year old Jeep that has lots of miles on it, but yet I am grateful because it's what I have and it's been good to us. I have a home that without the love of 2 wonderful parents would not have been possible for us to even imagine at this point in our lives. I have a husband and 2 kids who are the reason I live, and I am blessed.

God, in this time of thanksgiving and rejoicing, I thank you for even the smallest things. You are never changing and always giving. Thank you for your blessings. Lord, in our times of what seems like famine, we have never gone without. You have kept my lights on and the roof over our heads. Bless those Lord who may not have what they need tonight. Give me a heart that wants to serve you by serving others. Amen.

Sunday, November 4, 2007

It's me again God.

It's taken me a few days to blog, because I have had to use some time to think about my new entry. On another note, I had a wonderful birthday. 26 was not as bad as I thought it would be. I had a great dinner with my family and some nice new purses and such. Now I can get rid of my brown purse everyone hates=0)

On to my thought today. Not much to it really. I just am seeking some guidance right now. I feel like each day lately has been filled with Axton thoughts. Not that it shouldn't be that way, but not in the way it turns out. So, I say it's me again God. You know that one who keeps showing up looking for the same thing. =) Axton had a great past 5 days and we have really made head way in his fits when he gets so very frustrated. All things are possible. I have also changed my way of thinking and speaking. You know when you tease about your kid being, bad to the bones or being wild. Even in my joking, I have realized, How can I expect someone else to not say things like that, when I say them. Of course we mean them different, but. God doesn't give us more than we alone can bear. I know that in all I face and even at 2 1/2 Axton faces the same demons. He has a diagnoses, but he does not need a label. He doesn't go bad after not being eaten by a certain date and he doesn't go stale when sitting on the counter, so why label him. He is my baby and the gift God gave me to protect. So, now I pray for God's grace. It is sufficient for me. I don't have a clue what is best for me most days, I sure don't always have the answers for someone else's life. But, I do serve a God who is greater than I ever will be.

God you are greater than anyone in this world. You placed me where I am today and you gave me all the things that make me who I am. God, I know I ask for this a lot, but today father send me guidance abundantly. Father, not only for Axton and what I should do for him, but in my marriage, my job, my bills, and anything else than comes my way. I need you. I lay before you needing answers. My ears and heart are open to you. My mouth is quiet waiting on you to speak. As I lay my head tonight in rest, change my heart. Help me to not be so overcome with anger that I miss what you have for me. Quite my spirit so that I will hear your voice and not the voice of my own mouth. Amen.

Until then...