Being blessed

Out of the fog becomes something so wonderful. I watched my baby today breeze through nap time without the screaming and yelling that normally follows him. It wasn't all it can be yet, but one day at a time, right? He is transforming into such a little man. With his funny thoughts and his intensity about life. He is an example of God's greatness. When I watch him some days, I feel God right next to me. I am so undeserving, yet eternally grateful for him.

I spend my days so consumed with craziness. The Christmas wish list of our boys, the bills that need to make the cut this month, the beeping of the smoke detector that just won't quit and then in all of it, when did I remember that in all things big and small, they aren't that bad. Someone has it far worse than I ever will. Someone tonight is cold, someone tonight is hungry, and I complain over a dinner that is not the best one in my menu planning. I know we should think about others and their needs more. I give to the food bank when ordering my pampered chef and give my extra change at Dollar General when checking out, but do those few dollars really matter. I feel so greedy and ungrateful. I never say out loud how truly blessed I am. I have a 10 year old Jeep that has lots of miles on it, but yet I am grateful because it's what I have and it's been good to us. I have a home that without the love of 2 wonderful parents would not have been possible for us to even imagine at this point in our lives. I have a husband and 2 kids who are the reason I live, and I am blessed.

God, in this time of thanksgiving and rejoicing, I thank you for even the smallest things. You are never changing and always giving. Thank you for your blessings. Lord, in our times of what seems like famine, we have never gone without. You have kept my lights on and the roof over our heads. Bless those Lord who may not have what they need tonight. Give me a heart that wants to serve you by serving others. Amen.

It's me again God.

It's taken me a few days to blog, because I have had to use some time to think about my new entry. On another note, I had a wonderful birthday. 26 was not as bad as I thought it would be. I had a great dinner with my family and some nice new purses and such. Now I can get rid of my brown purse everyone hates=0)

On to my thought today. Not much to it really. I just am seeking some guidance right now. I feel like each day lately has been filled with Axton thoughts. Not that it shouldn't be that way, but not in the way it turns out. So, I say it's me again God. You know that one who keeps showing up looking for the same thing. =) Axton had a great past 5 days and we have really made head way in his fits when he gets so very frustrated. All things are possible. I have also changed my way of thinking and speaking. You know when you tease about your kid being, bad to the bones or being wild. Even in my joking, I have realized, How can I expect someone else to not say things like that, when I say them. Of course we mean them different, but. God doesn't give us more than we alone can bear. I know that in all I face and even at 2 1/2 Axton faces the same demons. He has a diagnoses, but he does not need a label. He doesn't go bad after not being eaten by a certain date and he doesn't go stale when sitting on the counter, so why label him. He is my baby and the gift God gave me to protect. So, now I pray for God's grace. It is sufficient for me. I don't have a clue what is best for me most days, I sure don't always have the answers for someone else's life. But, I do serve a God who is greater than I ever will be.

God you are greater than anyone in this world. You placed me where I am today and you gave me all the things that make me who I am. God, I know I ask for this a lot, but today father send me guidance abundantly. Father, not only for Axton and what I should do for him, but in my marriage, my job, my bills, and anything else than comes my way. I need you. I lay before you needing answers. My ears and heart are open to you. My mouth is quiet waiting on you to speak. As I lay my head tonight in rest, change my heart. Help me to not be so overcome with anger that I miss what you have for me. Quite my spirit so that I will hear your voice and not the voice of my own mouth. Amen.

Until then...
Sharon

Is it only Wednesday?

Having an off day around our house is like having 2 shoes on for anyone else. Just common. I am not quite sure where the day got sour this morning, but what seemed like a normal day in the Tackett household never holds true like I'd hoped. After Axton's weekly therapy session and all the wonderful postitive things she had to say about him, I was feeling great! Not that I think he has "changed" overnight, but I am way more hopeful these days then I was last month. He in her words remember is, "brillant". Not that I am bragging or anything..lol I adore my son and want nothing more for him than the best in life. I think that is any parents dream for their child. His teachers may not be the best match possible for him. They don't understand him and don't want to really. It saddens me as a mother for someone not to love him the way I think they should. Not that I think they should want to take him home with them, but that kind of compassion that I feel teachers of any age, should love their children. I teach 2 year olds. Not that I don't have a few in my class that drive me batty, but I am placed in their lives to touch them in some way. I don't think Axton's teachers got the same calling or maybe the line from God to tell them that, was busy the day the phone call went out. Whatever it may be, I am just in a hard place with it all. As a parent you live your life to protect, as a human you understand people have faults and they won't always be the way you want them to be.

On a happier note.. My baby wore a costume!!! Yay for him! He wasn't scared and had a wonderful night. He was well behaved and brought home 3 buckets of candy. He was so excited to see his Daddy after a long day. I was ready to see a pillow, but well Ax took that up right away!

God, thank you for sending me Axton. Father, I heard myself question why you sent he and I together today, because we don't always mesh well. You blessed me with this gift and I thank you for him and all that he comes with. Help me to stop feeling frustrated with the outcome of school and to seek you first. I am only human and forget that you have a plan for me. Protect my baby when I can not and love him with the love of a father, when others may reject him. Give me wisdom father.

Until then...
Sharon

I'm back!

I'm back! Finally! I had some computer problems this week. I felt so alone with out my Handy Dandy Notebook.. For those of you who don't know, that's a reference to Blue's Clues. You know you wouldn't think you could learn a lesson when your computer is down, but I did. I learned that I have lot of people around me who are truly wonderful people. Not because, they would fix my broke machine, but because they are just caring individuals. My car also broke this past weekend. I just felt like every time I moved, something else broke. So as always, I call my Dad and say, my car is broke and my computer is broke! Those great people I was talking about, came through again. It's amazing the people you come in contact with in life. The computer guy, who gives me a hard time, yet somewhere deep down inside of him, I know he thinks I rock..lol I mean if he didn't have things of mine to fix, what would he do with his spare time?? Then there is the car guys. Those two give me a hard time about being a pain, but they are wonderful guys who always fix my car even when it's something simple I should have done first! Then you have my Dad. There are no words to describe him. I am sure I am the cause of those few grey hairs he has. He is an amazing source of strength. There is not a time in life, that I couldn't call him and he'd be there. The computer guy and the car guys go to bed, but Dad's never sleep. I am so extremely grateful for the wonderful people God has placed around me. I don't deserve anything anyone has ever done, but God has blessed me abundantly!

So thank you Mr. Computer Guru! My machine runs faster and so much better without yucky viruses! I promise no more Limewire! Well, don't count me out. I could still need you again. Thank you Mr. Car Guys. Your job is a messy one and I am so glad you do what you do. I'd be lost without you. My car actually starts now when I turn the key! Thank you Dad. I couldn't be who I am today without you. Your wisdom is amazing and your love is priceless. I pray one day I can be half the parent to our boys as you are to me.

Thank you God for the people you have sent to my family. Not because they fix things I break or clean up my messes, but because they are wonderful people. You have blessed me Lord in ways I can not even begin to find words for. Thank you father. Help me to be a blessing to others.

Until then....
Sharon

Faith

This was a whirl wind weekend as always. We had Ike for3 days, but it goes by way to fast. Have you ever tried going over a 2nd grade spelling list with and almost 8 year old?? You should it test patience and humor. On our way home from the 2 1/2 hour drive, Axton found out that rolling the window down was a fun game to play. What struck me was his attempt to "catch" the wind. He tried his hardest and thought it was the greatest game he had ever played. He would say "I got cha" and put his arms together as though he had "caught" it. As simple as that sounds, it caught my attention. That's a piece of God and even though I can't see him, he's there in that gust of wind. Such a simple thought, yet so profound to me. My 2 year old never once thought he was teaching mommy something, but as always he did.

Axton has faith of a child. He has no idea that we may not have all the money in the world to buy all his "wants" or wishes, but he still has faith that I will. Ike has big dreams for Christmas and has faith that I won't let him down.. well um Santa won't since you know I work for him now as well..LOL To be that small again and to just have that never fearing faith. They have no idea about stress or worry yet and as a mother I pray they never will. I want to trust God that innocently. Just like we did as a child. Since getting older, I have become so overcome with stress and worry, that I forget to just have faith. God promised me that he would never give me more than I alone could bare, and yet I doubt? Why? I want that never doubting, always accepting, kind of faith! You know the one where you believe that if you have faith, that you can catch the wind.

God, grant me the ability to accept the things I can not change. I pray for faith as a child tonight. God, you have never let me down and we have never gone without. You are a faithful and on time God. You see what we will face before we have. Help me to face my day with the kind of faith my children have taught me. You know the one God, the one where I can catch the wind. That kind of faith! Thank you for the blessings in my life. Amen..

Until then...
Sharon

Time

Today I noticed that the clock seems to be going faster everyday. I know it never stops, but don't you wish it would wait for you to catch up with it? There are not enough hours in my day. The laundry seems to be growing in abundance, the kitchen counters even seem to call out to me that they need to be cleaned, the whole house needs to be vacuumed and somewhere in there, I must sleep. I'm not sure where my day goes. I get up on time, I get ready in plenty of time, but yet I always manage to forget something of importance. Today it was my sunglasses. Minimal by far in comparison to what it could have been, but the sun was beaming today. I think becoming a parent you loose small pieces of who you were. Not that you just loose all your self worth, but since taking care of another life, the things you were so good at once before, seem to start lagging. I have always been in my husband's own words, an "elephant".. Wasn't sure how to take that either were you? He assures me that it means I never forget anything. I used to not, but now I slip from time to time. To the amazement of my kids, I can't do all superwoman's work for her. She's got to make a buck on her own sometimes! I remember the important things, but maybe that's it. The things I forget, weren't all that important anyway were they? Maybe I spend so much time taking in useless knowledge that I am overwhelmed.

There won't ever be 25 hours in a day and more sunlight because I just remembered it's 9 o'clock and I need to mow the grass, but... In those 24 hours a day God has granted us, I will do the task that I can. The other's must not have ranked on the importance list and will wait until tomorrow. As long as I have looked at my 2 1/2 year old and laughed at his funny thought or picked him up when he says "Hold you me mommy". As long as I have told my husband that I love him and as long as in my day if I haven't spoken to Ike, my mind goes to him at least 12 times a day, I have done the important task.

God grant me the ability to find you in the craziness I call my life. Lord, when I feel overwhelmed with the "list" I have made for myself, help me to do the things you want me to do. Help me to always put you first and never be too busy for the 3 men in my life who count on me. God, I want to be the best at everything I do, but not because I am selfish, but because I want to live my life as an example of you. Be the constent in my world. Thank you for being my provider and the reason I live. Amen...

Until then...

Sharon

Friends

Tonight was a night with Girls only. I love my husband and my children, but it was so nice to not need a highchair and to choke down my food, because my child is throwing sweet and low at the waitress. I rarely have my alone moments, because a pair of eyes are normally staring at my every move. I love those little eyes, but being away makes me love home even more.

It's nice to know you have great friends who won't laugh at your mistakes and think the worst of you for the stupid things you have done. It's nice to know they will cry with you and laugh with you. Those friends are one you cherish, because they can't be bought or traded. They are hard to come by, but once you have them you want to treasure them always. Those girls know things about me that even I try and forget. The moments as teenagers when all you seem to do is make stupid choices, but looking back now you laugh so hard that you cry. I could have swore my Dad was out to make my life a living nightmare, but now as an adult, I actually see he was trying to help and protect me. Thought I wouldn't say that, didn't you?? I forget about being those times of being invincible. I forget about those first love.. well I think they all seemed that way then. lol I forget about the first time I met Tim and fell in love right then and there. Never looking back, but always looking ahead. Why is it that we forget the parts of our lives that make us who we are. You know, the beginning of the story written about our lives. I don't want to ever forget the stupid choices, or the wonderful friends, that I almost forget I have. Life gets so busy and we take so much for granted.Why do we forget that friends exsist until the hard times? I know that my life gets hectic and when I have awful moments that I just don't think I can bare, I want to run and call someone. I want to also know that I can call them in the happy times as well.

God, help me to be a better friend. You gave me these wonderful women for a reason. Most of them you sent to me when I was just beginning my journey into what would now become my life story. The book on me or them isn't finished yet, so Lord help us to be a part of those good and bad times. Thank you God for the love of others. Without having someone to call on, this world would be a lonely place. Lord, help me to love one another as you have loved us so unselfishly. Help me to be quiet when it's that time in a friendship where no words have to be spoken. God, send me the words in the times, someone needs to hear you. Amen..

Until then...
Sharon