Monday, December 10, 2007

Monday, oh Monday

I drove up to school today and of course on a Monday you have to make yourself go anywhere.. I get out and try and get Axton, who by this point is freaking out. "This is not my cool" You know at that point I realized something, He listens to everything I say and forgets nothing. We haven't talked about the "new school" since last week. I honestly haven't said anything to "him" about it. He just overheard me talking to my mom and Tim. He wants to go to the new place so bad. I talked with them today and we are praying that God will open a space for him before May or June. That's when they think they may have space. The class will be smaller and he will have 3 teachers. 6 kids in the class are your average everyday Tom and Susie and the other 6 have a hard time in a "normal" setting. Maybe due to being born premature or what not. Axton will whiz by in the brain part of it, it's just the change I worry about. You know since listening to him and talking to the lady again today, I am no longer sad or angry. I know that God has a plan and in that includes what is best for my baby. I just think I am so wrapped up in loving him that I forget that it's ok, to sometimes just let go.

I am struggling with Christmas right now. Getting the perfect gift, making sure everyone on my list is bought for. It's overwhelming really. Ike comes on Christmas Eve and stays for the week. I try and not speak bad things into existence, but his mom is not the easiest person to get along with. I pray that this year goes smoothly and she doesn't try and pull the things she has in the past 4 1/2 years. I just want life to be less complicated and chaotic for us. In the long run, it's just about us being together as a family. We travel for the most part to get Ike, to see Tim's family, to take Ike back.. I swear my SUV is like a house. I have clothes, food, and I am sure other things I don't care to know. In all things, we are a family in that Jeep. Just spending all the time we can together before all the madness starts!

God right now you know my heart and my heart's cry. I just need guidance. I am at peace with your will right now for Axton. I just pray that you would open space for him in the school. I pray that you will help ease the transition and keep him until he can leave his school now. God, I need you. It's so easy to be angry with people and their inability to work with others and their unpleasantness. God, you are bigger than these people and I pray that you change the way we all work together. In all things God, I praise you for never leaving us. Thank you. Amen..

Until then..

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