I sit here tonight researching Asperger's Syndrome. Who would have ever thought, I 'd even know that even existed. Of course it does, and it effects 2 in 10,000 children. 4 times more boys than girls. I guess January 5th,2005, Axton was the 2 in 10,000. If I look at it the way I want to some days, I'd see it as Why God, Why? But, today I choose to look at is as, Thank you God for making my little boy so special that you picked him out of the children in the world to be able to make a difference in life through teaching me. He is in the Autism Spectrum Disorder. Which just mean he is High Functioning. He doesn't lack anything developmentally, but in his social skills. It makes you look at the small things, such as having a normal conversation with your best friend, and not want to take it for granted anymore. Axton doesn't always have the ability to speak to someone like he wishes he could. So instead he takes his time learning all of his shapes, even ones you and I never think of, learning all about trains, dump trucks, and baseball. Did you know he knows most all of his letters and numbers by sight recognition? He is not even 3 yet. He is brilliant and I stare at him in amazement each day. How is someone so small, so smart?
I think I write all of this nonsense to make me aware that just because I don't understand the things he must face, they are real fears and issues he has. He doesn't mean to throw the tantrums he does sometimes when the noise level is high or someone has moved his things. He would love to be able to be invited to the kids parties at school instead of being looked over because parents look at him as "different". I see the looks of disgust when he has a momentof screaming.. He is not a bad child! I take deep offense to the stares in the store or even with family and friends. He may not behave the way someone may feel as though he should, but it's not about bad parenting or a bad child, it's about something far more. If someone has a question, I'd love them to ask even if I can't answer the question. I am still new to this and don't have all the answers.
God my prayer this week is, Help me to understand. Help me to stop and think of how Axton would feel instead of how I feel, because he won't do as I wish he would. Help me to be kind and use loving words. Please Lord let me remember that each day is to be cherished. You gave me this gift Lord and I stand in Awe in amazement. Help him to know that I am always here no matter what happens or where life takes him. Help him to live his life to the fullest and to reach all of his dreams times 10. Amen.
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