Monday, October 15, 2007

Today was one for the record books. I have a lot going on at school and today it just seemed to boil over. I enjoy my job more than words can say. I have a passion and a heart for children and being a protector for them. I laugh and say I had a "real" job once, but gave it up when Axton was 14 months old and the sadness I felt when we left him at daycare finally got to me and I had to change my path. Being with him everyday for the past almost 2 years has been a joy that I never knew I'd ever know. It has cost us financially, but knowing my son is within arms reach is more important to us. I am an outgoing person by nature, but lack in the way I should be able to have confrontation when needed. I think my sister got that double for the both of us.LOL In school, the teachers don't understand the little man, I have grown to just call active and curious. There is a right and wrong way to deal with any child, but Axton is a little different. Space is something that he takes very serious and being in his without "permission" or gaining his trust first, is a bad thing for him. I don't know that they will ever understand him,but I wish they'd try. As a mom, my claws come out when I feel my baby is in trouble. As an adult I realize that you also have different perceptions for different situations. I am trying to remain level headed about all we are dealing with right now. Now ask my next week and I may have a whole other story that I will be telling. I don't think you ever realize how much your words and actions effect even the smallest person. I now know, since being in this situation with Axton and school, that I have to really think before I react. I should have known that way before now, huh? I just want to touch each child that I am with. That they never feel afraid or scared because of me. I want them to feel safe and loved just like my own would.

Lord, help me to protect my child in all areas. Help me to have discernment for things that I should. Help me to use loving words and kind hands with each child and person I some in contact with. God in the smallest things, help me to choose the level head my father raised us to have. Help me Lord, to have the heart of my mother and will of my father. God, I need you this week. Give me peace that only you can give and the patience that surpass all things. Amen.

Until then...

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